Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world….and it goes on and on and on….don‘t stop believing…
This week I had someone ask me: “Is your life like your pictures? You know with the lace and tea cups, and the all the sweet baby animals? “
I woke up this morning to my husband putting the lop eared rabbit in my bed to “say good morning” Slight problem there….I’m not a morning person- and my PTSD (post traumatic sick of your jokes disorder) kicked in and I thought he was up to his usual shenanigans of putting ring neck snakes, etc in the bed to “say good morning.” After my graceful recovery (that would be if you defined graceful as flopping spasmodically around in the bed and knocking things off the nightstand) I turn around and -not to be out done- the wild child then brings a baby chick in the bed to say “Good Morning”
in my bed
on my new sheets…..
RISE AND SHINE!
*Why does no one bring coffee in my bed to “say good morning?”
After all the living things at the Funny Farms (aka – my glamorous life as I know it) are fed, I realize I need to go to the grocery store. I have this revelation because we are once again down to ketchup sandwiches. Oh and a **100** pound bag of black beans (because apparently my husband thinks I’m now Ma Ingalls and have nothing else to do other than turn 100 lbs of black beans into Cuban soup and can it) Do you understand how many mason jars of soup that is, ITS LIKE MILLIONS – NO EXAGGERATION- BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER EXAGGERATE.
As usual some of my greatest moments happen in the local grocery store. Standing in the canning section looking for Mason jar lids and rings I am approached by a gentleman with his buggy LOADED full of mason jars.
“Yep canning season”
I smile and nod
“What are you canning?”
“Oh just re- canning some stuff I made”
Looking back, these were probably the most perfectly wrong words I could have possibly chosen.
Not particularly wanting to encourage a conversation, but feeling like a good southern girl whose life is lace, tea cups and baby animals, should say something back I ask: “What are you canning”
With the most incredulous look on his face he says “It’s March, what do you think I’m canning?” “Honey you KNOW what I’m canning”
Well at that very second I most certainly did not know what his particular use for the mason jars were.
However, as he was about halfway down the aisle in front of me –it hit me …Oh he’s canning MOONSHINE! (insert light bulb here) And because I’m subtle and all tea cuppy and everything, my mouth opens and I say: “Oh” “I get it”
Out loudIt also dawns on me (insert energy efficient light bulb here, because this took a little longer to turn on) that Mr. Retired Government – Court House Position Holding Official- now turned moonshine maker- thinks we have something in common.
He thinks I’m “canning moonshine” also!
Out loud-“ No – really – I’m just canning black beans”
At this point he is laughing OUTLOUD and says: “Hope your ‘black beans’ turn out well and remember to only use your jar and lids only once because sometimes the lids and rings can have a reaction” (?)
I give up – Smile – shake my head- and head to dairy aisle.
ONLY IN A SMALL TOWN
When I return home to relate my story to my husband (from California) Dr. Suess’ ~ Mulberry Street comes to mind.
“And that’s a story that no one can beat, when I say that I saw it on Mulberry Street.”
“Stop telling such outlandish tales, stop turning minnows into whales”
Let me assure you honey I could not make this up if I tried.
Here’s to lace, tea cups, and mason jars! – AND SPRING!